How to Extend Hospitality to People in Hospitality: Interview With Kate Meier

So, I have four adult kids in this industry. In 2017, my oldest son brought me an apron that he had purchased. It was a really expensive one. And he said to me, “Mom, there needs to be something better out there.”

I then worked with my kids, and we came up with a great cross-back apron. When I was making them, I wore one myself to see what it felt like and how it went with their day to day. The cross back I designed just exploded.

I learned about the industry through watching my kids. With every kitchen that I went into to work with teams on the product, I learned more and more about this industry, including the challenges, the hardships and the struggles. Most importantly, the really tight-knit community that’s in the back of the kitchen — that family that they build together.

My oldest son is nearly 40, and I’ve watched a lot of challenges [in the hospitality industry]. He had melanoma at one point, and he was going to put off getting care until he found a job that would have insurance. And he would only get it after 30 days of work.

He would not be alive if he chose that option. But he had me there as his mom. This was years ago… decades ago. But he had me there as his mom to help him, urge him and support him. Not everybody has that. I have that personal experience that I drive on.

To me, I look at the hospitality community as a family because that’s truly what it is with all my children doing this work.

I’ve met so many individuals in this community who made a shift in their culinary careers because they had colitis and maybe weren’t taking care of themselves well enough. Then they reached a point where they needed surgery — an immediate, urgent thing. And suddenly, they’re set back. They can’t work.

Who’s there to help pick them up and put the pieces together? I couldn’t run my apron company, be excited about what I’m doing and hear all these stories without feeling compelled to do something about it.

I think it’s time we use that compassion to ask: How can we do better? What can we do better? I don’t have all the answers, which is why I turn to this community to talk about the options, the opportunities and how we can educate more.

Where’s the funding? Wellness centers would be amazing. There are so many great ideas. But right now, it’s about taking the steps to build something people trust. And I truly believe that one of the most important things is gaining that trust. Once you have it, things flourish.

That’s where the strength comes from. I think if we can eliminate the shame of saying, “I could use some help,” everyone I know who has asked for guidance here has been elevated.

You never know who you may inspire, elevate, support and help enough to go out and do incredibly great things. And they did it because we were there, saying, “Hey, we got you.” Then they inspire, grow and do other great things for others.

As we grow and build, we’re seeing what we do and how we can educate. Right now, we’re looking at the bigger picture and the individuals stepping up who want to use their experiences to contribute.

We hold events and pop-ups where Chefs — some of whom you can’t even get into their restaurants because they’re so busy — use their day off to collaborate. They get together with other amazing Chefs, cook and share their experiences. These pop-ups also include discussions where Chefs speak about what it’s like in the industry, share insights and build personal relationships.

Another incredible part is seeing Chefs who haven’t worked together before forming strong connections. They start exchanging ideas, combining their creativity and building something new. Some well-known, high-profile Chefs are even asking, “When can I participate?”

We also have team discussions on how to best utilize the skills, talents and knowledge of those who have walked different paths in this industry. Many have faced real hardships but haven’t shared their struggles out of fear it could harm their business.

But when they do open up, it becomes inspiring and relatable. If you present yourself as too perfect, others may feel they’ll never measure up. Real, honest stories build trust and connection, which are key to what we do.

Restaurant owners are now facing higher food costs and labor costs. The pool of people who want to work in kitchens now has shrunk. Despite all owners facing these challenges, most of them still try to figure out how they can pay for their staff to have insurance.

There are so many variables that feel daunting and overwhelming to them. And I’ve known so many restaurants closing. It’s almost jaw dropping. Defeat isn’t something that we want to feel.

Instead, how can we help you feel that inspiration again and help people on that journey? I’ve seen right now we have people coming in here just concerned about their staff. Are they safe? What about immigrant staff? They’re really worried, even if they don’t need to be worried.

Yeah, I’ve had immigrants come to me just to talk, worried about their future. Even if they’ve done everything right and should feel safe, there’s still a sense of uncertainty. Right now, trust in that safety isn’t there.

There’s an intensity in the emotions I haven’t seen before in this industry. Chefs are reaching out, showing up, calling — worried about their staff. Their employees are scared and unsure if they should even come to work. Am I safe? Will I be targeted because of my ethnicity? That fear is real, and it’s heartbreaking.

I feel like [diversity is] something that we should be excited and embrace because we have a very diverse culture and community. But instead, many are feeling afraid. This job is already challenging day to day, and adding another layer of fear only makes it harder.

Winter is already a slow season for restaurants, with many just trying to make ends meet. Now, with this added uncertainty, it’s even tougher to watch.

Today, we had a group of high school students come to our foundation, and they asked for guidance and input from one of our team members. We want our youth to be excited about holding hospitality jobs and being part of this community if they’re passionate about it.

And there are so many different opportunities within the hospitality community. If you’re passionate about hospitality, there’s such a wide range of jobs.

Having them get excited about it and feel good about hospitality is something we want the youth to be excited about. And I’ve met, learned, and understood a lot of restaurants that are choosing to do things just a little bit differently, making the whole team feel like a whole, full-gelled, solid team.

People are paid an equal wage. They all feel like they’re doing the same thing and striving strongly and doing it right together. When you build a team that feels connected to one another, and that is supported — those are the real, winning ideas.

And if you can get to something like that and you have those who are doing that and successfully doing that within an extended period of time, getting awards for the work that they’re doing and being recognized for that, have them be teachers and share what they’re doing.

It’s exciting. A lot of restaurants can cook amazing food, but it’s those who are stepping up to do it a little differently and making the excitement come in a different way. And then, all of a sudden, now you can’t even get reservations at those restaurants. You’re getting recognized and noticed. And there’s a different sense of pride and joy that comes within, like we’re doing it differently. We’re proud of our work.

We’re proud of our team. We should look at their methods and how they are doing things, and use them as guides and teachers and support and pull them in. Have them speak in front of a bunch of eager restaurateurs. We know it’s a very hard industry to be in. And I would be so sad to see so many different elements of it go away.

We need fine dining. We really do. But we also need your favorite breakfast spot that you like to go to every weekend or your spot that you just love, and you know what you’re getting.

And it’s consistent, and you love it. And maybe they’re not shooting for awards, but maybe they are one of your most stable, strong, valuable places. That also should be valued, respected and supported.

Another thing that I would like to see happen within the work that I’m doing is attorneys who work within the hospitality community being willing and stepping up to give advice, free guided advice so that people don’t get in places where they like to sign a bad lease or a bad partnership deal.

When you’re already busy trying to do all the elements of opening a restaurant, choosing all the pieces that go into your kitchen, your restaurant, your silverware, everything that you’ve got going on, all the different pieces and elements that are important, you sometimes overlook those very key issues of that contractor signing. We need to look out for that too.

Those who are now opening new restaurants are doing things differently. I think they’ve experienced and seen a lot of failure and hard times and have been at the receiving end of poor treatment. They’re looking at this as how I treat others, the way that I would want to be treated.

There’s a different movement now, especially with social media, where someone can easily tear down a restaurant with a single post or review. That’s the reality. Things are much different now, even when it comes to customer feedback.

People are using their voices in new ways, sometimes anonymously, which can be both good and bad. There’s a different way to share honesty and experiences.

Maybe it’s making people more aware — realizing they can’t get away with treating staff poorly because word will get out. It’s not all bad. It’s just a new way of handling things, and we need to be more mindful of our actions because people are using their voices differently.

What I have learned is that you will have some really, really hard days. But if you stay on the course, don’t give up and maybe reach out and ask for help — or give yourself space and time to step back and take care of yourself — that’s the key factor. You don’t have to keep grinding and pushing hard. You don’t have to do that.

Step back for a minute. Give yourself time to breathe, relax and rethink. Don’t act out of anger and frustration, even though it’s easy to snap in the moment. For so long, that kind of reaction was glamorized — like those angry chefs yelling and creating a hostile environment.

It was seen as a sign of toughness, like, we’re going to fight through this. But that’s not what I’m seeing now. I see a different, gentler, more mindful approach. What I tell my kids, and what I tell the younger generation coming up, is:

We’re all going to have really hard days. Some will be so tough that you might think, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” But if you’re passionate and you care — if this is what you truly want — stay in it. Because you never know, the next day could be the best day you’ve ever had.

It’s about sticking through those tough moments and finding what helps you stay confident and calm. Maybe that means taking a break, stepping away or doing something that makes you feel better. If that means spending time alone or having a good cry — whatever it is — give yourself the grace to have those moments. We all have pain and frustration. Life brings challenges, too, but you have to face them.

Communication is a really important piece. We need to feel okay talking with one another and being honest about what we’re going through. When we share and open up, we might spark something in someone else — maybe they realize, “My friend really does need help.”

If you need financial support, guidance on how to start therapy or just someone to talk to, having a space with vetted resources can remove that overwhelming feeling of not knowing where to start.

If coworkers recognize when someone needs support, if there’s communication and if people genuinely look out for one another, it makes a difference. I’ve seen some really beautiful relationships happen just from that — because someone cared enough to say, “I’ve got your back.” That’s why I say: Don’t give up. Stay in it. Support each other. Really look out for the person standing next to you. That’s what truly matters.

I think there’s always room for improvement. With the younger generation coming in, we have to adapt and change a little. We need to be more mindful.

You still need to be stern and uphold rules and structure — that’s important. We can’t give up those things. But at the same time, we have to make sure that others feel respected and valued in the process. We hold down our values and what we’ve set out to do, but we also need to be kind while doing it. That’s important.

I do have concerns for the older generation who want to stay in hospitality, especially those working in the back of the house on the line cooking. It’s incredibly hard on the body. I’ve seen a lot of high-level Chefs doing a great job, but eventually, they leave to find something that’s gentler physically.

There has to be a way to integrate changes so people don’t have to work those 12- to 18-hour days. But the reality is, when there’s a staff shortage — like we’re seeing now — it always lands on the one at the top to fill in. That’s a real concern. We need more people in the industry to think about this and come up with solutions.

It’s my hope that if my kids want to stay in this industry, they’ll be able to do so even at 50, 60 or 70. I’ve even met an 80-year-old Dishwasher.

If it’s your passion, you should be able to stay in it. We just need to think about different ways to make that possible. That, to me, is really important.

I had a Bartender come in to buy an apron a couple of weeks ago, and we started talking. He shared his passion for bartending and how much he loves it. I told him my kids all do this, and we celebrate these jobs.

He got really emotional when I told him, “Be proud of your work. Your job is important — to me and to the people who come into your establishment.” He started crying and said, “I’ve never had anyone tell me my job has value. People only ask when I’m going to get a real job.”

That’s just it. If this is your passion, it is a real job.

How many people do we know who have a college degree — in marketing or something completely different — but choose to stay in hospitality because that’s where they feel confident, comfortable, happy and excited? If we can help people feel proud of their work, they won’t go to their jobs feeling bad about what they do.

Seeing that emotion from someone who just came in to buy an apron really stuck with me. As I shared with him, this community is here to support people in hospitality. He said something that really hit me: “Kate, I came in to buy an apron, and I’m leaving with family.” That meant everything to me.

There are so many people willing to be mentors, to be someone others can feel safe with. We see structured support in other areas — like AA, with meetings, sponsors and mentors — so why not hospitality? Why not build spaces where people can gather, feel safe and share advice?

Even for restaurateurs, having a group to exchange ideas with makes a huge difference. I see a really bright future for this industry, and it starts with how we support one another.

No, I feel like I’ve gotten really connected to Chefs across the country, and their stories are mostly the same. The biggest challenge everywhere is the staffing shortage. There’s a small pool of people available to work.

In New York, I’ve heard of issues with people signing the wrong lease deals, but overall, the struggles are similar. At the same time, people are thinking about how to run restaurants differently and how to support their teams in new ways.

Some are shifting their focus away from just chasing awards and instead building something meaningful — something they feel good about, something that lasts. There’s a legacy mindset at play.

Many Chefs find purpose in cooking the food of their heritage, sharing their culture and creating a space that means something to them, their families or their significant others. It’s not just about impressing the industry; it’s about putting something real into the world.

I always see this happen. Those who focus entirely on winning awards often don’t get them, while the ones who just do the work and who build something authentic tend to get recognized naturally.

It’s that shift in perspective. Instead of chasing something, just be in a space where you can truly provide something. It’s like a plant. If you create a really healthy space for it to grow, it’ll do great. But if you just water, water, water, water, water because you want it to grow faster or give it only sunshine, it won’t. We need balance. We need a healthy space.

You know, I think a lot of people left during the pandemic and just never came back. They realized the environment wasn’t healthy — long hours, tough conditions — it just wasn’t a place where they felt they could thrive. Being forced out for a while made them rethink what they wanted to do.

I worry about my own children and those I know who are fighting hard to keep their restaurants going. When you’re short on staff, you end up picking up the extra hours yourself, which leads to burnout. The very people we need in the industry are the ones putting themselves at risk.

Honestly, I don’t know the answer. If you raise wages, restaurants — already struggling with higher food costs — get squeezed even more. Margins in hospitality are already razor thin. Food costs have been rising nonstop since the pandemic, and they just keep going up. It’s a tough balance.

I do think we need to re-energize young people who are interested in this industry instead of discouraging them. Teaching them more about food and letting them experiment with making cocktails — including non-alcoholic ones, which have been growing in popularity — could help. And that shouldn’t just be a trend. A lot of people in hospitality would benefit from having that choice.

We also need to change the perception that this isn’t a good work environment. If we can improve that in any way, it might help. But really, this is a bigger-picture issue. We need to look at it at a higher level and recognize how much we rely on the hospitality community. Those in positions of power need to step in and figure out how to support these restaurants — because they need it.